Here I am Alive.

Here I Stand. Relaying my words to you, reading out my story to you. Here I stand. Writing down all the words that I have ever known and all the stories that these two eyes have seen and all of the hearts that these two hands have held and all of the tears that have been shed from these eyes into these hands and have brushed against crumbled skirts and loose sleeves and have been shed for once and for all; never again.

Here I lay, beneath the open sky and on a patch of grass that isn’t the greenest. Here I lay and here I lay to tell you that the worse is yet to come and the best is always looming behind it. Here I lay to tell you that no matter what colour the grass is, as long you’re laying on it and you’re laying long enough to tell your story, You are enough. That is all that matters.

Here I sprint. Sprint away from all that has ever haunted me and all that will forever take away from me and all that has little bits and pieces of me and all that owns me. Here, I run away from them onto a place which accepts my broken and incomplete self because all that is broken does not need mending but healing. And all that is shattered will rise from the deepest browns of the earth and will fall upon you from the highest realms of these skies.

Here I fly, fly into the starry sky which has never once failed to awe me. These starry skies are my kryptonite and I shall neverĀ ask of you to come with me but if you may, my hand is held open and my heart’s doors always creak open for you.

Here I stop. Stop right in front of you and stop only for a brief moment. I ask you, “Are you here? Are you alive? Do you feel your heart racing and your body tingling and your ears thrumming with the beats of a new tomorrow? Does your mind say yes to your body? Do you want to get out of here? Do you want to go up up and away?”

Here I wait, Not for long, but I shall patiently and keenly wait for the greatest question of them all, “Here I am before you, Am I enough?”

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Waiting, Watching, Wishing.

.I sense a change. I sense the change that is taking over us. This change is in the wind. I can feel it in your presence but so much more in your absence.

You’re not there anymore. I look around.. And You’re not there anymore. Not asking me how my day went. or making me laugh or sitting across from me and texting me or flashing me a smile across the room or just sitting in silence with me.

You’re not there anymore. You’re not around. You took a step back.. a few steps too back and there’s not a lot left for us left for us with you standing all the way there and me standing all the way here waiting. This distance between us engulfs me and drowns me in only one word.

Waiting.