“It makes sense you know, the way you are and the way you look at things; they way they should be versus the way that they are. This actually isn’t that hard to comprehend once I understand where you’re coming from. You’re a whole lot of.. actually the sum of all of your memories. A collection of all the years and the memories and the moments and the places and things and feelings all at once; a manifestation of all of the years of your life in one. You are are this one tiny little human being holding onto the weight of a thousand Yesterday’s that you wish you’d have never had and you are the constant surge of hope and possibility for a tomorrow that you do not know of. But do you realize what’s wrong?
Darling, you are not in Today. You are here standing in front of me but you are not standing in front of me. In your mind’s eye, you are in that resort that you visited three years ago with your little sisters and you are also on that field with the wild ducks chasing after you and you yelping and screaming out of fear and humour. You need to be here, my love. I know that the possibility of a tomorrow is the best one that we have been given and I understand that some Yesterday’s outlive us our whole lives but what you need to realize is that none of them have the power that you hold right now. You right here hold the most supreme power of them all; you possess Change. You possess the ever lasting ability to stand your ground and sway with the wind and dance to the tunes that only you hear and sing to a bee song. You right here are Right Here. Say those words out loud and let them sink in so far deep within, that you can’t forget hem even if you tried.
And if someday’s your Today becomes hard to live through then know that the comfort and solace of my arms will forever await your embrace and they will hold you close until sundown and sunrise again; where we shall start a new possibility together; maybe.
Oh Beau, What you do to me 😍✨
And I will wait through the rainy clouds and the stormy night. Outside your door step; drenched and cold. I will wait for you to open your door and let down the high walls that go far beyond the welcome mat of your house. I will wait because that is what I am willing to do for the rest of my life. I will wait this out and keep waiting until you let me in once and for all.
Watch my relentless love outside your door step, through your water stained window. Raise those blinds and open that damn front door. I will walk in and never leave like the others did. I will never leave when the tide is high and the time is tough.
How many times are you willing to deny this love of mine?
May you look around to find yourself amidst raindrops and wildflowers. May the wind be with you and may you to dance and tap and sing to its tune. May your songs be as bright as you are and may your days be echoing with laughter. May your smiles reach your ears and bring a twinkle to your eyes and may it soothe everyone around you. May your life bring you everything that you have wanted, wished and prayed for. May it give you everything that you have wanted.. And more. May there never be a moment of sorrow that lasts for far too long. May you jump out of bed, rather than drag your legs through the rug. May you be the shot of espresso that everyone needs in the morning, to feel that jolt of exhilaration. May you be surrounded with loved ones always, for all of your moments of sheer happiness and hopeless disappointments. I pray that your life be a series of adventures and mishaps. May you Fall and Rise and Fall Again and most importantly; May you Smile through it all.
I was there today, just like I was there every other day. I was doing all the things that were expected of me. I was laughing at the right times, I was nodding when needed, I was apologizing, consoling, giggling and doing everything that I hadbeen doing for the past coupleof months or so. But my eyes just wouldn’t cooperate anymore.
They were looking for him. Always looking for him. On entering this giant room, I always felt so belittled. I felt small and minute and looking at him.. Looking For him made me want to wrap myself around him and not feel little and alone anymore.
He had the most compassionate eyes which I had had the pleasure of meeting only a bunch of times.. Sadly, the samecouldn’t be said about meeting Him. I had summoned the courage a billion times. I had even stopd behind him, trying to give the words in my throat a voice. But somehow, I always found myself fumbling and backing away. He had such a strong aura around him. He seemed so put together, so .. content with the way that he was. And I could never get past how foolish he’d think I was if he knew me.
We had seen each other in these extravagant parties quite often but never said a word to one another. Little did he know, that I wanted to exchange about a gazillion words per minute, to him. I wanted to talk and laugh and smile at him forever. I could picture us, sitting on the carpeted floor in a little corner, against a wall and talkkng for hours and hours about anything under the sun. I could see Us.. Him and I together.
I wish our eyes would meet once again, and when they do, I hope they do the talking for me. I hope they tell you that I’m waiting for you. I’m wishinh that you come over here and sweep me away into the little library in the attic and you tell all your fears and doubts. I hope you tell me about your mother and your first high school sweetheart. I hope you look into my eyes and tell me that you’ve been pining over me like I have for you.
Tell me that this could be real.. That this IS real.