I wonder.

Look at us. Look at the distance between us. This distance; I can stretch my arms and cannot reach you and that is the definition of distance; to not be able your bones against mine, to feel the shiver down your spine go down mine too.

Look at us. How did we get this far? How did we get here at all? I am standing here and you are standing there and in between us there is this huge wall of hurt and remorse and pain and resentment.

You used to like me at some point didn’t you? You used to like nudging shoulders and having me close and having our breaths in sync, the rhythmic rise and fall of our chests; the slight smiles always on our faces. You used to like me before.. right? There was something and I didn’t make it all up. But look at us now.

I want to hold you close and feel your ache as my own and to feel the words coming out of your mouth fall right into mine and to understand your pain as my own but you are too fucking far. You don’t want me to share your parts anymore. You don’t want me to breathe your air and to share your moments to and stumble and fall my way into your arms.

You refuse to take me as your own and you refuse to acknowledge Us. You refuse you to take a step forward and you refuse to let me hold on. You make it hard on purpose and you make it impossible to leave. You reel me in and push me away and you slap the door only to leave it unlocked. You look straight into my eyes only to break away the contact and you brush past my hands only to remind me what it was.

You seep into my skin only to settle down but never going deeper than skin. You used to make up my bones and every fibre of me.

Now you sit in my skin and keep me wondering.

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I’ll be there for You. These five words I swear to You.

And I will wait through the rainy clouds and the stormy night. Outside your door step; drenched and cold. I will wait for you to open your door and let down the high walls that go far beyond the welcome mat of your house. I will wait because that is what I am willing to do for the rest of my life. I will wait this out and keep waiting until you let me in once and for all. 

Watch my relentless love outside your door step, through your water stained window. Raise those blinds and open that damn front door. I will walk in and never leave like the others did. I will never leave when the tide is high and the time is tough.

How many times are you willing to deny this love of mine? 

Wake up. I have been waiting for you. 

May you look around to find yourself amidst raindrops and wildflowers. May the wind be with you and may you to dance and tap and sing to its tune. May your songs be as bright as you are and may your days be echoing with laughter. May your smiles reach your ears and bring a twinkle to your eyes and may it soothe everyone around you. May your life bring you everything that you have wanted, wished and prayed for. May it give you everything that you have wanted.. And more. May there never be a moment of sorrow that lasts for far too long. May you jump out of bed, rather than drag your legs through the rug. May you be the shot of espresso that everyone needs in the morning, to feel that jolt of exhilaration. May you be surrounded with loved ones always, for all of your moments of sheer happiness and hopeless disappointments. I pray that your life be a series of adventures and mishaps. May you Fall and Rise and Fall Again and most importantly; May you Smile through it all.