And yes, some days I do back and settle down. I go back to four or five years ago. I sit down and let the memories take their toll. I don’t stop and I don’t move. I am not mine anymore. I am flooded with you and your memories. I have lost all sense of being. You have taken over me. And everything that you did … Your smile and the way you always had something silly to talk about, nothing was ever left unspoken.. There were always words in the air when you were around. How you snored and pulled me into your arms at night and how you let me wake up before you, even though you had been up for a while. I remember all the gory details and the intricate ones .. I remember all the magical moments and all the terrible ones that I wish I could erase.
I sit and let your memories once again drag me back to five years ago and each time, I let you cloud my mind. I invite you to intoxicate me with the sound of your laughter and the feel of your touch. And every time it has the same impact and every moment seems to stretch for so long in my head, it no longer seems real. It no longer feels like reality .. And I think thats what it really was.. Something out of the clouds and fables and little white lies and somehow I still believe them.